Square Enix’s Final Fantasy VII is full of emotionally expressive, insightful, and admittedly extra characters. Love them or hate them, there is no denying they would fit right in in Taylor Swift’s The Tortured Poets Department.

After Taylor Swift’s announcement of her upcoming album during the 66th Annual Grammy Awards, we’re officially back in Taylor Season. Set to hit on April 19, just a month after Final Fantasy VII Rebirth hits stores, it’s a cosmic collision. And the theme could not be more fitting, too: The Tortured Poets Department. Since neither TS nor FF are big on celebrity appearances or collaborations, I don’t expect we’ll be seeing any official crossover soon. Still, nothing is stopping us from having our own safe space to discuss which Final Fantasy VII characters would belong in Taylor Swift’s The Tortured Poets Department album.

Related: Who Cares How Cait Sith Is Pronounced, He’s The Worst FF7 Character

Barret: Some Kind of Loaded Gun

Barrett is the man with a gun arm and a fiery spirit. I wouldn’t blame you for disregarding him as a battle powerhouse. But you have to admit his strength as a character doesn’t come only from his ranged support. He’s impulsive and has a knack for propelling the story forward, all fueled by his outspoken hatred speeches against Shinra. But beneath the tough exterior lies a man haunted by a tragic past. 

Forget the eco-warrior facade; Barrett’s fighting a personal vendetta against Shinra, the jerks who wrecked his town and livelihood and offed his wife. He is living his reputation era, aflame with desires for revenge.

The way in which Barret pours out the pain, the anger, and the guilt in Final Fantasy VII would fit right in with Taylor Swift’s The Tortured Poets Department album. 

Yuffie Kisaragi: Fearless Era

If it weren’t for Taylor Swift’s redemption arc, we wouldn’t have her crowned 2023’s Person of the Year. Every day, Yuffie Kisaragi gets called annoying by some rude fanboy. If they could, they’d go up a stage in the Golden Saucer, interrupt her mid-cutscenes, and say, “Yo Yuffie, I’m really happy for you. I’ma let you finish, but Sephiroth just had one of the best cutscenes of all time.”

But should you give Yuffie a chance, you’ll watch her character unfold into a multi-layered tale of optimism, resourcefulness, and ninja shenanigans. Yuffie Kisaragi dances through the narrative with a mix of mischief and heroism, proving that beneath her thieving exterior lies a poetic tale waiting to be explored. There has never been a character more deserving of a spot in Taylor Swift’s The Tortured Poets Department.

Roche: “All’s fair in love and poetry.”

Roche is a motorcycle maverick in Final Fantasy VII Remake, but you likely don’t remember him as a speed demon. Instead, you probably remember how he constantly professed his love for Cloud and acted like their duel was a date in Olive Garden. 

His overzealous and flamboyant entrances are nothing short of dramatic. Each line seems meticulously crafted to sound like it came out of a play. Roche isn’t just a one-trick pony with a killer bike; he’s a two-wheeled poet at heart. 

RED XIII: A Cat Poet 

Red XIII is our four-legged philosopher, the unsung poet of the party in Final Fantasy VII. I know what you’re thinking, but let me assure you they’re not just here because of Taylor Swift’s obsession with felines.

Amidst the chaos of technocratic greed and Avalanche’s rebellion, Red XIII takes a chill pill and views the world with a more objective, humane lens. He’s the yin to Shinra’s yang, representing a spiritual Native American vibe, fighting against the invasive force of technology and modernity. 

In Taylor Swift’s The Tortured Poets Department, there’s definitely a seat all saved up for Red XIII, the poetic beast with a philosophical feast.

Jessie Raspberry: Taking Romeo and Juliet to the Next Level

Jessie is a bomb-maker, an actress, and a go-getter in Final Fantasy VII. But mostly, she’s a hopeless romantic. From the first minute we meet her, she latches onto Cloud and tries to somehow make him fit into her idea of theatrical love. 

Just like Taylor Swift, she is the Mastermind behind most operations against Shinra, and in this love play, she has created for her and Cloud. I just know she would be part of Taylor’s Squad and most definitely earn her spot in the The Tortured Poets Department.

Vincent Valentine: A Daydream Dressed Like a Nightmare

Is there any character as unnecessarily edgy and overdramatic as Vincent Valentine? Crippled by guilt and torment, Vincent joins the party not as a chatterbox but as a silent observer. He speaks when it matters, making his contributions as measured as a haiku in a world of verbose soliloquies.

His brooding and mellow energy screams Evermore, but he’d make all the songs 10-minute versions for absolutely no reason. I’m sure Taylor Swift would love to welcome this walking anime trope into The Tortured Poets Department.

Final Fantasy VII: Ever Crisis promises to be the compilation and remake that many Final Fantasy fans have been clamoring for for years. However, developer Square Enix seems to be making the same mistake with Ever Crisis as with Final Fantasy VII: The First Soldier, along with its other defunct mobile titles. The company is trying to pursue the lucrative mobile gaming market by using the most famous icons available to it while ignoring why fans enjoyed those characters and stories in the first place.

Ever Crisis is an upcoming RPG for Android and iOS devices that aims to retell the story of the Compilation of FF7 and add new lore and pieces of narrative that have yet to appear in other mediums. The game features turn-based battles and uses a gacha system to unlock new gear. Notably, Ever Crisis will feature the first-ever English adaptation of Before Crisis, a Japan-exclusive mobile title that starred the Turks in the days before FF7.

Related: Final Fantasy 7 Fans Prep For Ever Crisis By Sharing Their Favorite Memories

The Final Fantasy Audience Is Primarily On PC & Console

Ever Crisis isn’t the first mobile game set in the Final Fantasy VII universe, as a battle royale called The First Soldier was released in 2021. The First Soldier didn’t even last a full year before its service was shut down, despite including lots of fan service for FF7 fans, such as making the blocky PlayStation 1 sprite version of the characters playable and adding summons to the battlefields.

There are Final Fantasy mobile games, but most are crossover titles featuring heroes and villains from throughout the series. The issue with making a game based solely on FF7 and FF7 Remake is that the audience for those games is primarily on PC and consoles. One of the reasons The First Soldier failed is that it only launched on mobile devices and required a phone with decent specs to run, drastically narrowing the audience for the game, especially in a market that’s oversaturated with battle royales.

If The First Soldier had launched on other platforms, it would have reached a wider audience and entered the grasp of fans of the license. Final Fantasy 7 is one of Square Enix’s most well-known IPs, and a well-made shooter in that universe could have had legs if more people had the chance to play it.

Ever Crisis faces the same issue, with an even steeper climb uphill, as regular shooter fans could enjoy The First Soldier, but Ever Crisis is made for the FF7 diehards. The game is all about fanservice and lore, yet it’s unavailable on the systems where the fans who would care reside.

There’s No Allure To New Final Fantasy 7 Lore (As It Will All Be Online Anyway)

One aspect of Ever Crisis that Square Enix has heavily pushed is the new lore. There will be a segment exploring Sephiroth’s backstory, which is something that has barely been touched on in FF7 media. Even the other prequels (Crisis Core and Before Crisis) had little new information about Sephiroth’s youth.

The problem with using lore as a selling point is that we live in an age where information about games is uploaded shortly after it reaches the fans. If there are any interesting tidbits about Sephiroth’s life or any earth-shattering revelations about the Shinra Corporation revealed in Ever Crisis, then it will be covered to death by websites and Youtubers within days. This means there’s little incentive to play the game just to learn more when it’ll all be available for free.

Ever Crisis has to survive on its gameplay, which combines the turn-based RPG mechanics of the original FF7 with the graphical style of the Remake, at least in combat. What’s been shown of the combat system in Ever Crisis looks uninspired, carrying all of the hallmarks of the gacha game genre right down to auto-battle mode. In the end, the game’s goal is to extract money from the player, and the FF7 license has already failed to do that once in recent times, so hopes aren’t high that Ever Crisis can succeed where The First Soldier failed.

Square Enix Needs To Put Its Mobile Games On Other Platforms

If Ever Crisis is to survive, it needs to be put on the platforms where the Final Fantasy VII fanbase resides. The gameplay videos and previews for the game are filled with comments from fans asking for a PC or PS5 port, as they’re interested in seeing more of the beloved characters from FF7. As it stands, Ever Crisis is only pegged for Android and iOS release, with Square Enix giving no hints regarding a multi-platform release.

Related: Best FF7 Characters That Need To Be In Ever Crisis

It’s understandable why Square Enix would want to court the mobile gaming market and why it would use some of its most famous characters to try and appeal to a new audience, but it keeps ignoring the fans who actually care about this setting. Ever Crisis might look ugly as sin on PC or PS5, but fans don’t care about visuals if the gameplay and story are good. By restricting Ever Crisis to mobile devices, Square Enix is missing out on money and incentivizing the most dedicated fans to seek out the game’s secrets via Google rather than actually playing the game.

Final Fantasy VII is undoubtedly the most iconic and beloved entry in the Final Fantasy franchise, as evidenced by how it spun out into its own sub-series of games and other media. Other Final Fantasy titles have seen direct follow-ups too (like Final Fantasy X and Final Fantasy XIII), but Final Fantasy VII’s legacy and popularity has led to Square Enix remaking/remastering/re-telling its entire chronology for modern audiences.

Getting into the series and trying to understand all of its lore can be overwhelming for new players. So, we’ve put together a mostly spoiler-free rundown of every important piece of the Final Fantasy VII timeline in chronological order, alongside some basic summations and how they can be best experienced.

Related: Crisis Core: Final Fantasy VII Reunion preorder guide – Editions, bonuses, and more

Final Fantasy VII – The First Soldier

Funnily enough, the first piece of the timeline is one of the more recent Final Fantasy VII games to have been released. The First Soldier came out in 2021 and is a free-to-play battle royale for mobile devices set 30 years before the events of the original Final Fantasy VII.

It primarily focuses on the Shinra Electric Power Company (a major antagonistic force across the entire series) and its efforts to bolster its private military by establishing SOLDIER, an elite fighting force comprised of enhanced super soldiers. Despite being a prequel, it admittedly doesn’t have much in the way of story content so, while freely available, it can be skipped if battle royales aren’t your thing.

Final Fantasy VII – Before Crisis

Another mobile prequel that released in 2008, Before Crisis takes place six years before the original game and is also Shinra-focused. More specifically, it centers on the Turks, a covert group that works under Shinra and served as recurring antagonists in Final Fantasy VII. Although the majority of the Turks that appear in Before Crisis are wholly original and didn’t appear in Final Fantasy VII.

This one’s a more traditional action-RPG but, unfortunately, it was never released outside of Japan and is considered a lost piece of media. The good news is that Square Enix plans to retell Before Crisis in the Final Fantasy VII: Ever Crisis mobile game. Ever Crisis is slated for a 2022 release, but there’s no word on when it will cover the events of Before Crisis.

Crisis Core: Final Fantasy VII

The third and final prequel in this timeline, Crisis Core released for the PlayStation Portable in 2007 (2008 in the West) and tells the story of Zack Fair, a member of SOLDIER and an important figure in the backstories of Cloud and Aerith, two of Final Fantasy VII’s main protagonists.

This action-RPG covers some major events that preceded the original game, so it’s arguably best experienced if you’ve already played Final Fantasy VII. Like Before Crisis, this will see a re-telling as part of Ever Crisis, but an HD remaster, titled Crisis Core: Final Fantasy VII Reunion, is releasing this December across every major platform.

Final Fantasy VII

We’re finally at the original game itself. If you’re somehow unfamiliar with Final Fantasy VII, this PlayStation RPG follows mercenary Cloud Strife as he embarks on a mission to save the planet from both Shinra, which is happy to drain the planet’s Mako (its very life source) dry, and Sephiroth, a former SOLDIER gone mad who wishes to wipe out humanity.

There’s no real excuse to not play this one as it’s seen re-releases across PC, iOS, PlayStation 4, Xbox One, and Nintendo Switch. It will also see a re-telling as part of Ever Crisis.

Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children

Perhaps the closest thing there is to a Final Fantasy VII 2, this 3D animated movie from 2005 picks up two years after the events of the game and sees a mysterious trio kidnap children who have become infected with a strange disease. Cloud, who’s isolated himself from his friends and is suffering from the same disease, sets out to save the kidnapped children and foil whatever scheme these new villains have.

The movie is available for purchase/rental digitally across multiple platforms like YouTube and Amazon, and it saw a re-release on Blu-Ray only last year. Just be sure that what you’re watching is the Advent Children Complete director’s cut since that adds extra scenes and touches up the visuals. Like almost everything else on this list, it too will be re-told in Ever Crisis.

Dirge of Cerberus: Final Fantasy VII

Chronologically the last entry in the timeline, Dirge of Cerberus is a third-person shooter spin-off for the PlayStation 2 from 2006. Set three years after Final Fantasy VII (so one year after Advent Children), this game stars Vincent Valentine, one of the original game’s optional party members, who battles an organization called Deepground that wishes to destroy the planet.

There are currently no plans to re-release, remake, or remaster this one, but it will, unsurprisingly, be adapted in Ever Crisis at some point.

Final Fantasy VII Remake

The first installment in Square Enix’s three-part project, Final Fantasy VII Remake released in 2020 for the PlayStation 4 and is pretty much what it says on the tin. More specifically, it remakes and expands the story, world, and characters of the original game, although it only covers the events that take place in the city of Midgar (essentially the equivalent of Final Fantasy VII’s first disc).

Since this is a remake, you might be wondering why we’re placing it after all the other games. Well, without spoiling too much, this isn’t a remake in the traditional sense. There’s clearly more going on than fans first assumed as the events from the original game play out slightly differently.

The game’s also available on PlayStation 5 and PC via Steam and the Epic Games Store, but make sure you get Final Fantasy VII Remake Intergrade as it comes with an extra DLC episode focused on ninja girl Yuffie (another optional party member from the original game), explaining what she was doing during the events of the main game.

Final Fantasy VII Rebirth

The second entry in the remake project, Final Fantasy VII Rebirth will continue the plot of Final Fantasy VII Remake as it sees Cloud and his party leave Midgar and enter the outside world. At the time of writing, we only have a teaser trailer and a release window of next winter, meaning Rebirth could release either late 2023 or early 2024. It’s also scheduled as a PS5 exclusive and will be followed by one more game to wrap up the remake project.

Season 2 of Final Fantasy VII The First Soldier is here and includes several new additions to the battle royale action mobile game. The 2.0 update is aptly named Dominate the Sky. It’s an homage to both the Dragon King Bahamut and a new fighting ability called Dragoon.

Bahamut joins the fray as a new boss and summon for players. The dragon can be found throughout specific areas around the map. He’ll use his Megaflare ability to ignite the ground with flames and has multiple abilities that make him a challenge to bring down. After he’s defeated, players will receive Bahamut summoning materia. Using it will transform the player into the Dragon King and grant them access to the Divebomb and Megaflare attack.

Players will also gain a new style called Dragoon that comes with several abilities. Players will be able to cause lances to fall from the sky and pierce enemies. They will also learn the ability High Jump that they can use to leap into the air to avoid attacks or attack enemies. Dragoon also includes the style trait Sky Predator, allowing players to glide through the sky. While Dragon’s Favor absorbs MP to melee attacks and recovers HP when an enemy is defeated.

Two other features are in the update as well: Teleport and private matches. Teleport is a new materia that lets players open portals on the map. These can be used to instantly travel between two connected portals. Whereas private matches allow players to create their own lobbies and customized battles.

Other add-ons include the season pass which comes with Bahamut character skins.

Square Enix’s mobile battle royale Final Fantasy VII: The First Soldier is currently holding its first-ever competitive event named The President’s Cup. Fittingly announced as an “exhibition bout,” this restricted event began on January 18 and will run until January 20 when the ultimate winner would be decided using a points system.

As its name would suggest, participation in The President’s Cup is reserved for Final Fantasy VII: The First Soldier influencers and “specially invited candidates.” The competition will see them pitted against each other in a race to win matches quickly and with the most kills possible. Participants will be streaming the event through their own channels and are advised to use high latency streaming for the sake of competitive integrity, though the event structure is relaxed and not terribly competitive by default.

The President’s Cup is indeed an exhibition event, as there will be no rewards for coming out on top at the end of it, save for the bragging rights. Experience has shown that despite their chaotic nature, battle royale games make serviceable spectator esports, and it wouldn’t be a surprise to see Final Fantasy VII: The First Soldier continuing in that direction. A proper tournament with open participation and a prize on the line would be preferred, of course.

Final Fantasy VII: The First Soldier offers players standard or ranked matches to play in. Standard matches have no stakes over a player’s rank, while players can increase or decrease their rank based on their performance in ranked matches. However, the ranked journey doesn’t stop once you hit the top in either solo or team modes, and you may notice that your rank can even drop from Soldier Prime to Soldier 1st Class if you don’t keep on top of it. This guide explains why your rank may drop and what to do about it. 

More players at the top increases the points required

When Final Fantasy VII: The First Soldier launched, the Rank Points required to hit Soldier Prime was much lower than it is today. Developer Square Enix hasn’t clarified why this is, but the most logical reason for it seems to be that the Rank Points threshold for Soldier Prime increases as more players reach it. Some players theorize that this means that only a certain percentage of the player base, say 5%, will ever hold the Soldier Prime rank at any one time. At the time of writing, the Rank Points needed to reach Soldier Prime in solo mode is 9,282 and 13,605 in team mode. However, this is likely to rise as the season goes on.

Keep playing ranked mode

The only way to maintain the rank of Soldier Prime once you hit it is to keep playing ranked matches. The more points you earn, the less likely it is that you’ll drop to Soldier 1st Class. If you take a break from the game, you’ll have to do some serious work to earn all the points you need to get back to Soldier Prime again.

The Gryphon is an LMG (light machine gun) in Final Fantasy VII: The First Soldier. At the time of writing, it’s the most powerful LMG in the game, but that comes at a cost. The rate of fire on this weapon is woefully low, dropping to around ten shots per second, but the damage it deals more than makes up for that. This guide explains how you can get the Gryphon in any match so you can start blasting enemy Candidates away.

Check all supply drops

The only way to get a Gryphon in Final Fantasy VII: The First Soldier is through a supply drop. These occur regularly throughout a match from Phase 2 or 3 onwards. Supply drops are large boxes full of loot that fall onto the map. You’ll get a notification that one is coming on-screen, and you can then check the map to identify where it will land. However, every player can see this, so you could be walking into a trap.

Unlike Ifrit and Shiva Materia, the Gryphon shows up in early supply drops. You don’t need to wait until the end of a match to pick it up. It’s worth checking every supply drop you can so that you can rack up more kills, which is especially useful if you’re trying to complete a challenge linked to the weapon.

Titles are medals that you can equip your character within Final Fantasy VII: The First Soldier. They show your skills without the need for the game to display your season pass level above your character at all times. Anyone with the Maxed Out Title has committed to pushing their Style as far as it will go, and anyone with the Doom Defiant Title is likely a better player than most. This guide explains how to pick up the Melee Master Title, showing that you’re a genuine threat even without a gun.

Beat players into submission

To unlock the Melee Master Title, you need to kill three enemy Candidates with melee attacks in a single match — standard or ranked. This sounds incredibly difficult, but we’ve found to get around the requirements so that you can unlock the Title in the next match you play.

In your next match, aim at every enemy Candidate’s head when shooting. This should cause them to drop into the downed state fast. When they’re crawling around trying to escape or find a teammate, run over to them and finish them off with a melee attack or two. This counts as a melee kill, and if you do it three times, you’ll get the Melee Master Title when the match is over. You can also use this method to boost the amount of overall melee damage you’ve dealt to Candidates for any challenges you need to complete.

Final Fantasy VII: The First Soldier deals out new challenges each week for players to take on and earn more stars from. Stars lead to progress in the season pass, which means more rewards for the players that earn the most stars. This guide will help you complete one of these challenges using a jukebox at the Entertainment District so that you can get on with the trickier tasks at hand.

On the fence

The jukebox in the Entertainment District is located in the top left-hand corner of the mess of buildings you’ll explore there. It’s almost at the edge of the site, with the jukebox standing against the fence that lines it. This makes it easy to get to when you either drop in to the location or travel there from somewhere else.

To complete the challenge, you need to tap the interaction that pops up once you get close to the jukebox. Even if you die without winning or doing anything else, the challenge will be complete. This will award you stars and some season pass progress after the match has ended.

If you want to drop into a match and complete this challenge without doing anything else, do it in a standard solo match. Otherwise, you’ll cause issues for other players and cost yourself rank points for no reason.

Jukeboxes are dotted around every location in Final Fantasy VII: The First Soldier. While you won’t need to interact with them in every match, some are essential to completing challenges that unlock each week. This guide explains how to use a jukebox at the Train Graveyard — including the machine’s location — to help make your life as easy as possible when trying to earn stars.

Check the train depot

The jukebox at the Train Graveyard is inside the main train depot building. Once you’ve dropped onto the location, head into the massive building nearby that looks like a hangar. It’s full of broken trains and staircases that lead to junction boxes that are no longer in use. You’ll find the jukebox up on the first-floor walkway.

If you go inside the train depot using the main entrances with shutters, head up the stairs on your left, through the junction office, and along the walkway leading around the next one. Alternatively, look for the path in the walkway that goes between the two sides of the building. You’ll see the jukebox on the outer wall of the junction office on the right-hand side.

To complete the challenge, you need to press the interaction that pops up when you approach it. This will cause it to play music. Even if enemies swarm you, you’ll still get some stars for completing the challenge when the match ends.